{"title":"Certified Vintage","description":"\u003cp\u003eNot old. Vintage. There's a difference, and it's mostly attitude.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFunny British slogan t-shirts and gifts for the man who's been around long enough to have opinions, original parts (mostly), and absolutely no intention of being called \"old\". Perfect birthday gifts for dad, milestone birthdays and retirement presents.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"funny-retired-t-shirt-humorous-gift-for-retirement-casual-softstyle-tee-perfect-for-relaxation-vintage-style-clothing","title":"\"Retired From Giving A Damn\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe career is over. The alarm clock has been silenced. The commute, the performance reviews, the mandatory team-building exercises, the meetings that could have been emails — all of it, done. Finished. Behind him now like a bad dream he's finally woken up from.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBut here's the thing nobody mentions at the leaving do. It wasn't just the job he retired from. It was everything that came with it. The patience. The diplomacy. The careful management of other people's feelings about his opinions. The nodding. The pretending. All of it, handed in along with the lanyard.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHe is now, officially and completely, retired from giving a damn.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis t-shirt marks that achievement with the dignity it deserves. Because it is an achievement. Years in the making. Hard won. And absolutely nobody is taking it back.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from 100% ring-spun cotton — soft, comfortable, and relaxed fit. Classic crew neck. Ribbed collar, shoulder tape. The kind of t-shirt you wear when you've got nowhere to be and no one to impress.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe ideal gift for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Anyone whose retirement party is approaching\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e The man who has served his time and is done\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e People who've earned the right to mean it\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNot a phase. A permanent career change.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eWash cold. Tumble dry low. No further obligations.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":43288682692677,"sku":"22221218553617810567","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":43288682758213,"sku":"18138016968819504752","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":43288682856517,"sku":"22053985252415546760","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":43288682922053,"sku":"13552557148942087278","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":43288683020357,"sku":"28978937208476435357","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":43288683085893,"sku":"19466478014844754415","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":43288683184197,"sku":"24002431206907470981","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":43288683249733,"sku":"12446585514319959910","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":43288683348037,"sku":"76413576309445016326","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":43288683413573,"sku":"32865334571196508811","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/old-man-snark-retired-t-shirt.jpg?v=1782645271"},{"product_id":"too-old-for-nonsense-too-sharp-to-ignore-t-shirt","title":"\"Too Old For Nonsense. Too Sharp To Ignore.\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThere's a particular stage of life where something rather useful happens. You stop caring about the wrong things and start being extremely good at the right ones. Trends come and go. Experts contradict themselves. Everyone's got an opinion and most of them aren't worth the breath they're delivered on.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd yet here you are. Still sharp. Still right. Wearing a monocled skull giving a thumbs-up because at this point, why not.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is a t-shirt for the man who has outlasted fads, outlasted bad advice, and quietly outlasted several people who were absolutely certain they knew better. He didn't make a fuss about it. He didn't need to. That's rather the point.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe vintage retro design — skull, monocle, lightning bolts, sunburst — says confidence without trying too hard. Which is, again, rather the point.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from specially spun fibres built for DTF and DTG printing, with shoulder tape, ribbed collar, and a tear-away label. Classic fit. Comfortable from day one. Much like the man wearing it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor those who:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Have earned every opinion they hold\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Consider sarcasm a legitimate form of intelligence\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Have simply been around long enough to know\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eToo old for nonsense. Too sharp to ignore. Both things simultaneously, without apology.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eWash cold. Tumble dry low. Do not iron. He doesn't need to be told twice.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":43814224789573,"sku":"32354114072338659617","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":43814224822341,"sku":"12015177766924625000","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ S","offer_id":43814224855109,"sku":"15055708929029763660","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":43814224887877,"sku":"13868107819853952129","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":43814224920645,"sku":"79303589892276368825","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":43814224953413,"sku":"27271998321296559588","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":43814224986181,"sku":"16537703614841155817","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ M","offer_id":43814225018949,"sku":"12132527711722290397","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":43814225051717,"sku":"30767273266128937838","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":43814225084485,"sku":"44423458362163418837","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":43814225117253,"sku":"79959094056825757485","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":43814225150021,"sku":"17819680215800016460","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ L","offer_id":43814225182789,"sku":"45080456930889137757","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":43814225215557,"sku":"30788807079233335624","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":43814225248325,"sku":"18893850179017138170","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":43814225281093,"sku":"42723141933361801601","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":43814225313861,"sku":"21269980162118866311","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XL","offer_id":43814225346629,"sku":"85869326296412483106","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":43814225379397,"sku":"81105630201139923734","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ XL","offer_id":43814225412165,"sku":"27732274206383496932","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":43814225444933,"sku":"31539889027096050099","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":43814225477701,"sku":"30720811345209783017","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":43814225510469,"sku":"26520349901807105267","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":43814225543237,"sku":"33549277669022363306","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":43814225739845,"sku":"10391326597542567923","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/old-man-snark-black-graphic-t-shirt_b29bc0f7-6f04-480e-89fd-f36af8b244ac.jpg?v=1782644949"},{"product_id":"my-back-hurts-my-opinions-are-still-correct-funny-old-man-t-shirt","title":"\"My Back Hurts. My Opinions Are Still Correct.\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe body, it must be said, has become somewhat unreliable. The knees have opinions of their own. The back lodges a formal complaint most mornings. Getting up from the sofa has become an event requiring planning and occasionally a spotter.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNone of this, however, has any bearing whatsoever on the quality of his opinions. Those remain sharp, well-reasoned, and correct. As they have always been. As they will continue to be.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis t-shirt makes that distinction clearly. Yes, something hurts. It usually does. That's entirely separate from the matter of who was right about the bypass being a terrible idea in 1987, and frankly the two things shouldn't even be in the same conversation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton — soft, breathable, and feels broken-in from the first wear. Because a man with a bad back deserves at least one thing that doesn't give him grief.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor the man who:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Has never once been wrong, technically\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Considers \"I told you so\" a complete sentence\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Would stand up to make his point if standing wasn't currently an issue\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSide seams, ribbed collar, shoulder tape, and tear-away label. Built to last. Unlike the back.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe perfect birthday, Father's Day, or retirement gift. Or just a Tuesday.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":44798453547077,"sku":"33504992985452295370","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Maroon","offer_id":44798453579845,"sku":"10853446191625710984","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":44798453612613,"sku":"15388863116102823374","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Red","offer_id":44798453645381,"sku":"37466362764083155722","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":44798453678149,"sku":"27914755986519658705","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Maroon","offer_id":44798453710917,"sku":"21168837803473536932","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":44798453743685,"sku":"19282277865580179665","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Red","offer_id":44798453776453,"sku":"19450971969059522727","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":44798453809221,"sku":"29646741204519140705","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Maroon","offer_id":44798453841989,"sku":"17078176429106055631","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":44798453874757,"sku":"16816883163351302896","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Red","offer_id":44798453907525,"sku":"25962669138945195073","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Mustard","offer_id":44798453940293,"sku":"17087954254539777719","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":44798453973061,"sku":"61856998018265526531","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Maroon","offer_id":44798454005829,"sku":"19755585007224564978","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":44798454038597,"sku":"28037845072286006566","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Red","offer_id":44798454071365,"sku":"19800217050006441013","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Mustard","offer_id":44798454104133,"sku":"31128340454802626963","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":44798454136901,"sku":"23988251117099271457","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Maroon","offer_id":44798454169669,"sku":"29863025634993784608","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":44798454202437,"sku":"13155737067459506742","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Red","offer_id":44798454235205,"sku":"15517880733525114359","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/old-man-snark-black-graphic-t-shirt.jpg?v=1782640606"},{"product_id":"im-not-old-im-vintage-funny-retirement-t-shirt","title":"\"I'm Not Old, I'm Vintage\" Funny T-Shirt | Birthday Gift for Men | British Humour Slogan Tee | Gift for Him","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThere comes a point in a man's life when \"getting older\" simply stops being an accurate description. You're not older. You're \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003erarer\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. More characterful. The kind of thing people would pay considerably more for at auction if they had any sense.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis t-shirt makes that argument for you — quietly, confidently, and without requiring you to explain yourself to anyone under forty.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from soft, breathable cotton, because vintage doesn't mean uncomfortable. Classic black, because you've been wearing it since before it was fashionable and you'll be wearing it long after everyone else moves on.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIdeal for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Men who remember when things were made to last\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Anyone who considers their opinions \"well-aged\" rather than \"outdated\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e People whose best years, frankly, are a matter of some debate\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe perfect gift for a significant birthday, Father's Day, or for the man in your life who winces every time someone calls him \"young man\" in that particular tone.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNot old. Vintage. There's a difference. And it's an important one.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eAvailable in sizes S–3XL. Wash cold. Tumble dry low. Improves with age.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":44817231118405,"sku":"23919073244413663341","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":44817231151173,"sku":"30804432531104616887","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":44817231183941,"sku":"11727555007119611862","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":44817231216709,"sku":"31237850981745731196","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":44817231249477,"sku":"16052810507479812174","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":44817231282245,"sku":"23271202636471650832","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":44817231315013,"sku":"24354123537132420214","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":44817231347781,"sku":"27178640938947665435","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":44817231380549,"sku":"32172119656963446308","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":44817231413317,"sku":"23265302224544853345","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/old-man-snark-vintage-slogan-t-shirt_2d597001-b3c9-4146-9adf-1127a00bfe4c.jpg?v=1782638445"},{"product_id":"t-shirt-some-things-are-better-off-left-alone-me-for-example-vintage-humor-tee","title":"\"Some Things Are Better Off Left Alone\" Introvert T-Shirt | Funny Slogan Tee | Gift for Grumpy Men | British Humour","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLook, some wisdom takes years to acquire. This particular wisdom took about forty-five minutes in a busy supermarket on a Saturday afternoon, but here we are.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis t-shirt says what most of us have been thinking since approximately 1987. Whether it's unsolicited opinions, group chats, or people who want to \"just have a quick chat\" — some things are, indeed, better off left alone. You included, frankly.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from soft, breathable cotton because life is uncomfortable enough without your clothing joining in. Classic black, because you've got better things to think about than coordinating outfits.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWear it to:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Signal your availability (spoiler: unavailable)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Answer questions before they're asked\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Justify your lifestyle choices with minimal effort\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAn excellent gift for the man in your life who considers a cancelled plan a personal victory, or anyone who's ever described their ideal evening as \"quiet.\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNo explanation required. That's rather the point.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eAvailable in sizes S–3XL. Wash cold. Tumble dry low. Do not disturb.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44860621488197,"sku":"16602137563003574739","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ S","offer_id":44860621520965,"sku":"28685816235005492870","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":44860621553733,"sku":"29495875965358566050","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ M","offer_id":44860621586501,"sku":"56445581051328240329","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":44860621619269,"sku":"10477905036690893169","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ L","offer_id":44860621652037,"sku":"16210493449371099230","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":44860621684805,"sku":"74443776489440717080","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44860621717573,"sku":"15783088890305549574","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ XL","offer_id":44860621750341,"sku":"16600552360743393162","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":44860621783109,"sku":"11941128393509969588","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44860621815877,"sku":"13718205355309851301","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":44860621848645,"sku":"30407889889896287574","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":44860621881413,"sku":"31084655090133993918","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/old-man-snark-black-slogan-t-shirt.jpg?v=1782637973"},{"product_id":"retired-still-not-available-framed-print","title":"Retired. Still Not Available. — Framed Print","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePRODUCT DESCRIPTION:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause a man who's spent decades being useful deserves something on his wall that says he isn't anymore.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis isn't a poster. It's a statement. Framed, hung, and entirely unapologetic.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe details, since someone will ask:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Premium wooden frame in natural oak, black, or white — each with its own wood grain, because nothing worth having is identical\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 200gsm matte paper. Substantial. No glare. No nonsense\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Shatterproof plexiglass — because retirement shouldn't involve broken glass\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Ready to hang straight out of the box. No assembly required. He's done enough of that\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e FSC-certified sustainable materials — responsibly sourced, since the planet has opinions too\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Available in 15 sizes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMakes an excellent gift for:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe newly retired. The long-retired. The man who was mentally retired for the last decade before it became official.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003ePrinted on demand. No minimum orders.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Old Man Snark","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45462148218949,"sku":"3c83c788-ce24-4439-b5ba-a71dade37a6b","price":34.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/0d8d41ef-ac2a-41e5-93c8-83c162a402ce.webp?v=1785697922"}],"url":"https:\/\/oldmansnark.com\/collections\/certified-vintage.oembed","provider":"Old Man Snark","version":"1.0","type":"link"}