"Coffee First. Talk Never." T-Shirt — Old Man Snark
# "Coffee First. Talk Never." T-Shirt
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A perfectly reasonable position. Arguably the only reasonable position before 10am.
There are people in this world who bound out of bed ready to engage with humanity. Full sentences. Eye contact. Opinions about the news. This shirt is not for those people. Those people are, frankly, exhausting.
This shirt is for everyone else. The ones who've learned that the morning has a correct order of operations, and conversation isn't even on the list until the mug is empty. Possibly not even then.
Bold yellow graphic on classic black. Visible enough to communicate the message clearly to anyone considering an early morning chat. Consider it a public service.
Made from soft, breathable cotton because the day is difficult enough without an uncomfortable t-shirt adding to proceedings.
Recommended for:
› People whose morning routine does not include small talk
› Anyone who has ever pointed silently at their coffee cup instead of answering a question
› Every office, every household, every commute
The ideal gift for the coffee drinker in your life who has never once described themselves as "a morning person" and has no intention of starting.
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Available in sizes S–3XL. Wash cold. Tumble dry low. Best appreciated in silence.
"Coffee First. Talk Never." T-Shirt — Old Man Snark
# "Coffee First. Talk Never." T-Shirt
---
A perfectly reasonable position. Arguably the only reasonable position before 10am.
There are people in this world who bound out of bed ready to engage with humanity. Full sentences. Eye contact. Opinions about the news. This shirt is not for those people. Those people are, frankly, exhausting.
This shirt is for everyone else. The ones who've learned that the morning has a correct order of operations, and conversation isn't even on the list until the mug is empty. Possibly not even then.
Bold yellow graphic on classic black. Visible enough to communicate the message clearly to anyone considering an early morning chat. Consider it a public service.
Made from soft, breathable cotton because the day is difficult enough without an uncomfortable t-shirt adding to proceedings.
Recommended for:
› People whose morning routine does not include small talk
› Anyone who has ever pointed silently at their coffee cup instead of answering a question
› Every office, every household, every commute
The ideal gift for the coffee drinker in your life who has never once described themselves as "a morning person" and has no intention of starting.
---
Available in sizes S–3XL. Wash cold. Tumble dry low. Best appreciated in silence.
| Size |
XS, S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, 4XL |
|---|---|
| Color |
Black, Dark Grey Heather, Black Heather |

















