{"title":"Gifts For Him","description":"\u0026lt;p\u0026gt;For the man who has seen enough, said enough, and worn his patience down to a fine edge. T-shirts for men who mean what they say — and say it on their chest.\u0026lt;\/p\u0026gt;","products":[{"product_id":"college-comedy","title":"If In Doubt, Strap It Out\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003cspan\u003e# \"If In Doubt, Strap It Out\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEvery trade has its secrets. The workarounds that aren't in any manual. The solutions that get results without necessarily following the procedure to the letter. 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Too Sharp To Ignore.\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e# \"Too Old For Nonsense. Too Sharp To Ignore.\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThere's a particular stage of life where something rather useful happens. You stop caring about the wrong things and start being extremely good at the right ones. Trends come and go. Experts contradict themselves. Everyone's got an opinion and most of them aren't worth the breath they're delivered on.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd yet here you are. Still sharp. Still right. Wearing a monocled skull giving a thumbs-up because at this point, why not.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is a t-shirt for the man who has outlasted fads, outlasted bad advice, and quietly outlasted several people who were absolutely certain they knew better. 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Much like the man wearing it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor those who:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Have earned every opinion they hold\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Consider sarcasm a legitimate form of intelligence\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Have simply been around long enough to know\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eToo old for nonsense. Too sharp to ignore. Both things simultaneously, without apology.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eWash cold. Tumble dry low. Do not iron. 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The design exudes resilience, sharp wit, and a refusal to be sidelined, perfect for those who treat retirement like a rumour and relevance like a lifestyle. Ideal for fans who've outlived trends and ignored the experts.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Shoulder tape stabilizes back of garment\u003cbr\u003e- Fabric knitted in one piece without side seams\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed knit collar retains shape well\u003cbr\u003e- Made from strong, smooth fibers perfect for printing\u003cbr\u003e- Ethically grown US cotton certified by Oeko-Tex\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003cbr\u003e- Do not iron\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 5000, 2 year warranty in EU and 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I'm Just Realistic.\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e# \"I'm Not Miserable. I'm Just Realistic.\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLet's clear this up once and for all.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMiserable suggests a problem. A disposition in need of fixing. Something a bit of positivity and perhaps a weekend away might address. That's not what's happening here. What's happening here is an accurate reading of available information leading to reasonable, well-founded conclusions. That's not misery. That's just paying attention.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe optimists have had their turn. They've been relentlessly cheerful about things that didn't warrant it and surprised when those things went sideways. The realist, meanwhile, already had a cardigan on and a contingency plan in place.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis t-shirt makes the distinction clearly. Deadpan centred text. Calm delivery. The quiet confidence of someone who has been called miserable enough times to have developed a considered response to it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton — lightweight, breathable, and soft. Retail fit, crew neck, side seams, shoulder tape, tear-away label. Sits close without clinging. Much like the truth.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor the person who:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Has never described themselves as a glass-half-full type and doesn't intend to start\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Considers low expectations an act of self-preservation\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Is not miserable. Just realistic. There is a difference.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eWash cold. Tumble dry low. 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Not Thriving.\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e# \"Surviving. Not Thriving.\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAn honest assessment. Possibly the most honest assessment of modern life currently available on a t-shirt.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThriving is, by all accounts, what we're supposed to be doing. The economy, the self-help books, the people on social media with suspiciously good lighting — all of them suggest thriving is not only possible but expected. A baseline, really. Something to feel bad about not achieving.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis t-shirt takes a different position. A more accurate one. The bills are paid. Mostly. The fridge has something in it. The week was navigated. Nobody is claiming it was elegant or particularly enjoyable, but it was survived, and that, frankly, deserves acknowledgement.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNo hustle. No motivation. No suggestion that a better mindset would sort the gas bill out. Just dry, understated honesty for people who've stopped pretending otherwise.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton — lightweight, breathable, and soft. One of the few things right now that isn't getting worse.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRetail fit, crew neck, ribbed collar, shoulder tape, tear-away label. Built properly. Small mercies.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor anyone who:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Considers getting to Friday a personal achievement\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Has stopped answering \"how are you?\" honestly to save time\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Is surviving, not thriving, and has made peace with the distinction\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eWash cold. Tumble dry low. You're doing fine. Relatively speaking.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":44540705243205,"sku":"26327975740050742677","price":18.82,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44540705275973,"sku":"31748081245831632732","price":18.82,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44540705308741,"sku":"28020528666764131607","price":18.82,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44540705341509,"sku":"25600623627750688832","price":18.82,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44540705374277,"sku":"32845342346863476828","price":18.82,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44540705407045,"sku":"25035651873306383256","price":23.07,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44540713009221,"sku":"21653752310441606152","price":26.78,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":44540713041989,"sku":"29089008183697852984","price":31.1,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/15007997543517359983_2048.jpg?v=1768409551"},{"product_id":"everything-s-gone-up-except-my-pay-dry-humour-cost-of-living-t-shirt","title":"Everything's Gone Up Except My Pay\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e# \"Everything's Gone Up Except My Pay\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA precise and accurate summary of the current economic situation, delivered across the chest with the calm dignity it deserves.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe energy bills went up. The shopping went up. The council tax, the insurance, the price of a round, the cost of a parking space in a town that's been slowly dying since 2009 — all of it, up. Considerably. Without apology or apparent end in sight.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe pay, however, has had a think about it and decided to stay where it is.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis t-shirt does not exaggerate. It does not dramatise. It simply states what most people already know and have been quietly furious about for some time. Worn with the resigned expression of a man who did the maths and didn't enjoy the result.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton — lightweight, breathable, and soft. Small mercies.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRetail fit, crew neck, ribbed collar, shoulder tape, tear-away label. Built properly. Unlike the economy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIdeal for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Anyone who checks the receipt twice now\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e People whose pay review meeting lasted eleven minutes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Everyone, frankly\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNot complaining. Just accurate.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eWash cold. Tumble dry low. Costs less than your energy bill. For now.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":44540854534213,"sku":"25107593693400101376","price":24.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44540854566981,"sku":"32022402859853117708","price":24.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44540854599749,"sku":"25016860547006643721","price":24.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44540854632517,"sku":"19817661074201422514","price":24.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44540854665285,"sku":"86869565593174239238","price":24.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44540854698053,"sku":"20321627783841485689","price":29.05,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44540854730821,"sku":"28573964026370020103","price":33.47,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":44540854763589,"sku":"23987669684232376079","price":38.6,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/2566631689933489942_2048.jpg?v=1768414823"},{"product_id":"unisex-jersey-short-sleeve-tee","title":"\"Monday. Again.\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e# \"Monday. Again.\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt came back. It always comes back. Regardless of how the weekend went — whether it was genuinely restorative or simply passed too quickly while you were trying to enjoy it — Monday returns on schedule, without remorse, and with absolutely nothing to say for itself.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTwo words. Two full stops. The complete and total summary of the situation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThere is no mascot here. No motivational subtext. No suggestion that Monday is secretly an opportunity or that your attitude is the variable. Just the plain, unvarnished fact of it, printed in bold centred typography on a t-shirt you can wear to work, wear to the commute, or wear while sitting in a car park at 8.47am summoning the will to go in.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAvailable in black, sand, and bone. All equally appropriate for a Monday.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton — lightweight, breathable, and soft. The one thing about this morning that isn't giving you grief.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRetail fit, crew neck, ribbed collar, shoulder tape, tear-away label. Holds its shape considerably better than your enthusiasm will.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor everyone who:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Checked the time on Sunday evening and felt it\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Has never once been glad it's Monday\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Needed a t-shirt that understood\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eWash cold. Tumble dry low. It'll be Monday again before you know it.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":44552837791813,"sku":"15089684861651610782","price":18.82,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44552837824581,"sku":"29938828000956883002","price":18.82,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44552837857349,"sku":"11996561782088406234","price":18.82,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44552837890117,"sku":"24113214285802374661","price":18.82,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44552837922885,"sku":"26342554402253647785","price":18.82,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44552837955653,"sku":"28477291502104498857","price":23.07,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44552837988421,"sku":"12923498692537142809","price":26.78,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":44552838021189,"sku":"21867697344879847417","price":31.1,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/2525648343117536347_2048.jpg?v=1768822727"},{"product_id":"professional-overthinker-oms-snark-tee","title":"\"Professional Overthinker\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e# \"Professional Overthinker\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt's not a flaw. It's a skill set. An underappreciated, exhausting, extremely thorough skill set that has prevented countless disasters that nobody will ever know about because they were dealt with internally at 2am before they had a chance to develop.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe professional overthinker has already considered every possible outcome of this purchase. The sizing. The washing instructions. Whether the recipient will appreciate it or merely tolerate it. What that tolerance might mean. Whether the accompanying gift bag sends the right message. They've rehearsed the handover twice and have a contingency ready if it doesn't land.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis t-shirt doesn't attempt to fix any of that. It simply acknowledges it. PROFESSIONAL OVERTHINKER. Bold, clean, sand-toned sans serif. Stacked and centred with the quiet confidence of someone who has thought about font choice considerably longer than is strictly warranted.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton — lightweight, breathable, and soft enough for long coffee-fuelled planning sessions, late-night rewriting of emails that were probably fine, and casual weekend spiralling.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRibbed crew neck, shoulder tape, side seams, tear-away label. Ethically made. REACH certified. He's already checked.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor the person who:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Rehearses conversations before they happen\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Rewrites the text three times before sending\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Has considered every possible interpretation of this product description\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt doesn't solve the overthinking. It just makes it look intentional.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eWash cold. Tumble dry low. He's already read the care label four times. Just in case.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":44552865546309,"sku":"21784653125350057816","price":18.82,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44552865579077,"sku":"15409201359158321849","price":18.82,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44552865611845,"sku":"51631604357880605225","price":18.82,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44552865644613,"sku":"10106589428834565888","price":18.82,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44552865677381,"sku":"23525700596434755257","price":18.82,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44552865710149,"sku":"11554374825803749130","price":23.07,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/10118214279496289259_2048.jpg?v=1768825703"},{"product_id":"functionally-pessimistic-oms-snark-tee","title":"Functionally Pessimistic\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e# \"Functionally Pessimistic\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNot a negative person. Never that. Just a realist with an excellent track record of being right about how things are probably going to go.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe functional pessimist is, in many ways, the most useful person in any room. He's already identified what's going to go wrong, planned for it, and quietly prepared a contingency while everyone else was still being optimistic. He gets things done. He just doesn't expect them to work. And when they don't — and they often don't — he is neither surprised nor particularly upset. Just noted.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFUNCTIONALLY PESSIMISTIC. Stacked, centred typography in the OMS monochrome palette. Sand tones on black. Deadpan by design. The kind of slogan that doesn't announce itself loudly because it doesn't need to. The man wearing it already knew this moment was coming and dressed accordingly.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton — lightweight, breathable, and reliable. Unlike most things.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRetail fit, crew neck, ribbed collar, shoulder tape, tear-away label. Layers easily under a jacket. Pairs effortlessly with low expectations and a strong coffee.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor the person who:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Troubleshoots before breakfast\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Has a Plan B before Plan A has been properly explained\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Considers \"I told you so\" a form of closure\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAn excellent gift. He probably assumed it wouldn't arrive on time.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eWash cold. Tumble dry low. Results may vary. He already knew that.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":44554783129669,"sku":"14021744719041497459","price":24.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44554783162437,"sku":"21588033258361896816","price":24.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44554783195205,"sku":"27873157818506146905","price":24.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44554783227973,"sku":"37021571639613513788","price":24.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44554783260741,"sku":"68029003428886408525","price":24.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44554783293509,"sku":"29068920912985338939","price":29.05,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/2770526872664245351_2048.jpg?v=1768852718"},{"product_id":"not-exactly-shocking-hoodie-minimalist-graphic-pullover","title":"Not Exactly Shocking Hoodie — Minimalist Graphic Pullover","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"397\" data-end=\"481\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"397\" data-end=\"422\"\u003eNot Exactly Shocking.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"422\" data-end=\"425\"\u003eSome things don’t require commentary. Just confirmation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"483\" data-end=\"601\"\u003eThis hoodie is for the observant. The ones who saw it coming. The ones who aren’t surprised — just mildly unimpressed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"603\" data-end=\"860\"\u003eCut from a premium midweight cotton-blend fleece, it delivers structure without bulk and softness without slouch. The fit is classic and considered — relaxed, but not oversized. Designed to sit cleanly on the shoulder with enough weight to feel intentional.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"862\" data-end=\"999\"\u003eThe slogan is printed in a restrained, editorial-style sans serif across the upper chest. No noise. No graphics. No explanation required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e23.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e25.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e25.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1001\" data-end=\"1135\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1137\" data-end=\"1148\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1137\" data-end=\"1148\"\u003eDetails\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1149\" data-end=\"1326\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1149\" data-end=\"1186\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1151\" data-end=\"1186\"\u003eMidweight fleece with soft interior\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1187\" data-end=\"1217\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1189\" data-end=\"1217\"\u003eClean, structured silhouette\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1218\" data-end=\"1258\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1220\" data-end=\"1258\"\u003eMinimalist high-chest slogan placement\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1259\" data-end=\"1286\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1261\" data-end=\"1286\"\u003eUnderstated back branding\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1287\" data-end=\"1326\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1289\" data-end=\"1326\"\u003eDesigned for those who’ve seen enough\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1328\" data-end=\"1372\"\u003eWear it when you already know how this ends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Lane Seven LS14001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":44650957537349,"sku":"27411205172181279050","price":42.57,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":44650957570117,"sku":"28959244019172520152","price":42.57,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":44650957602885,"sku":"18990281327698896147","price":42.57,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":44650957635653,"sku":"29155615196693906930","price":42.57,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":44650957668421,"sku":"12806776026011510619","price":42.57,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":44650957701189,"sku":"28142319611854786428","price":46.1,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":44650957733957,"sku":"48848339410649557776","price":48.08,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/old-man-snark-black-graphic-hoodie-a1b2c3d4_11412f2f-b091-459f-80e3-0e75d4e689cf.jpg?v=1777896768"},{"product_id":"i-have-no-time-for-stupidity-funny-old-man-t-shirt","title":"\"I Have No Time For Stupidity\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e# \"I Have No Time For Stupidity\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTime is finite. This has been known for quite a while. What is perhaps less widely understood is that a significant portion of that finite time is being quietly consumed by stupidity — in meetings, in queues, in conversations that should have ended ten minutes ago, and in situations that could have been avoided entirely with a modest amount of common sense.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis t-shirt acknowledges that reality. Directly. Without diplomatic softening.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe distressed clock graphic makes the point visually before anyone's even read the words. Time is passing. It is not being replenished. And there simply isn't enough of it left to spend on avoidable nonsense.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from soft, breathable cotton because the world is aggravating enough without an uncomfortable t-shirt contributing to the situation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAvailable in classic black and deep forest green. Both equally suitable for making your position clear without raising your voice.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor the person who:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Has stopped pretending certain meetings have a purpose\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Considers \"I don't suffer fools gladly\" a personal achievement rather than a criticism\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Has a limited daily allowance of patience and guards it accordingly\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAn excellent gift for birthdays, retirement, or for anyone whose colleagues would recognise them immediately in the product photo.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eAvailable in sizes S–3XL. Wash cold. Tumble dry low. Stupidity not included. Obviously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":44779471011909,"sku":"18327877369777622716","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest \/ XS","offer_id":44779471044677,"sku":"18140735013086479825","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XS","offer_id":44779471077445,"sku":"21245132643410386543","price":25.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44779471110213,"sku":"57520492988619360284","price":28.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":44779471142981,"sku":"56198023142692072780","price":28.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44779471175749,"sku":"38619787274192659273","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest \/ M","offer_id":44779471208517,"sku":"18765752054200045071","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":44779471241285,"sku":"22964301622621699599","price":28.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44779471274053,"sku":"16271634171469872586","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest \/ L","offer_id":44779471306821,"sku":"19787022853141115919","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":44779471339589,"sku":"20261667353360384536","price":28.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44779471372357,"sku":"26798173820983361914","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest \/ XL","offer_id":44779471405125,"sku":"28499477982787427918","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":44779471437893,"sku":"29721934509322347197","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44779471470661,"sku":"18325978524638288863","price":30.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest \/ 2XL","offer_id":44779471503429,"sku":"90959083863450586947","price":32.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":44779471536197,"sku":"19325484151357386071","price":30.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44779471568965,"sku":"22447256236445703898","price":31.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":44779471601733,"sku":"45326431567961477897","price":31.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/oldmansnark-black-cotton-tshirt-clock-graphic-a1b2c3d4.jpg?v=1777896641"},{"product_id":"its-a-button-push-the-button-funny-tech-support-t-shirt","title":"It's A Button. Push The Button.\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e# \"It's A Button. Push The Button.\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSomewhere right now, a perfectly competent person is staring at a screen, waiting for help, having not yet attempted the one thing that might resolve the situation. The button. The clearly labelled, entirely obvious, right-there-in-front-of-you button.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is the daily reality of tech support. A profession that requires the patience of a saint, the diplomatic skills of an ambassador, and the ability to say \"have you tried turning it off and on again\" without visibly weeping.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis t-shirt is for those people. The ones who've explained the same thing seventeen times this week. Who answer the phone already knowing what the problem is. Who have developed a smile that means something entirely different from what it looks like.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBold, clean typography. No distractions. Just the message every IT professional has thought out loud at least twice before lunch.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton — soft, breathable, and built to last considerably longer than most people's ability to tolerate basic questions.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWear it to:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Work, as a gentle hint\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Meetings, as a warning\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e The server room, where you've gone to be alone\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe perfect gift for anyone in IT, tech support, or anyone who's ever fixed something by simply pushing the button.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eWash cold. Tumble dry low. Do not ask what the flashing light means.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":44787718750277,"sku":"19268210635391405183","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":44787718783045,"sku":"84793331891726200348","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":44787718815813,"sku":"11536122301158254214","price":28.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":44787718848581,"sku":"19464283858193886735","price":28.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":44787718881349,"sku":"16555325095282545771","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":44787718914117,"sku":"24797951482120420273","price":28.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":44787718946885,"sku":"13685497074943372555","price":28.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":44787718979653,"sku":"32594265005917832870","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":44787719012421,"sku":"35520672281511806064","price":28.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":44787719045189,"sku":"26259817292852629567","price":28.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":44787719077957,"sku":"95248190622667080632","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":44787719110725,"sku":"10983632250349063705","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":44787719143493,"sku":"20138578382761272695","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":44787719176261,"sku":"85587530788722154706","price":30.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":44787719209029,"sku":"17654679565410317413","price":30.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":44787719241797,"sku":"12265526728805693299","price":30.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":44787719274565,"sku":"16597370595510796960","price":31.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":44787719307333,"sku":"31536377459444902659","price":31.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/oldmansnark-funny-tech-support-tshirt-black-cotton-a1b2c3.jpg?v=1777896458"},{"product_id":"whiskey-fixes-everything-funny-whiskey-t-shirt","title":"Whiskey Fixes Everything\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e# \"Whiskey Fixes Everything\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLook, this isn't medical advice. It's just observation. Decades of careful, largely anecdotal research conducted in kitchens, sheds, and the occasional pub suggests that a glass of something amber has a remarkable success rate with problems that refuse to sort themselves out.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNot \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eall\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e problems, obviously. But enough of them to make it a reasonable first response.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis t-shirt states that position plainly and without apology. Bold, clean typography. No unnecessary explanation. The kind of confidence that only comes from a man who has tested the hypothesis thoroughly and stands by his findings.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton — soft, breathable, and feels broken-in from day one. Available in black and navy because some decisions, at least, are straightforward.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRecommended for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Men who consider the shed a legitimate problem-solving environment\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Anyone whose first question in a crisis is \"have you tried whiskey?\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e People who've stopped pretending patience is always the answer\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe perfect gift. For almost any occasion. Much like the whiskey itself.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eAvailable in black and navy. Wash cold. Tumble dry low. Best worn with a measure of something decent nearby.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":44790441508933,"sku":"22328034930794906143","price":22.58,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":44790441541701,"sku":"26287502046048332468","price":22.58,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":44790441574469,"sku":"14005820962263708575","price":22.58,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":44790441607237,"sku":"10250984741116284634","price":22.58,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":44790441640005,"sku":"30601568139396610795","price":22.58,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":44790441672773,"sku":"22787931546368948675","price":27.64,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":44790441705541,"sku":"29717941436077422837","price":32.24,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":44790441738309,"sku":"67704192706813604256","price":37.26,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/oldmansnark-whiskey-fixes-tshirt-a1b2c3d4.jpg?v=1777896367"},{"product_id":"my-back-hurts-my-opinions-are-still-correct-funny-old-man-t-shirt","title":"\"My Back Hurts. My Opinions Are Still Correct.\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e# \"My Back Hurts. My Opinions Are Still Correct.\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe body, it must be said, has become somewhat unreliable. The knees have opinions of their own. The back lodges a formal complaint most mornings. Getting up from the sofa has become an event requiring planning and occasionally a spotter.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNone of this, however, has any bearing whatsoever on the quality of his opinions. Those remain sharp, well-reasoned, and correct. As they have always been. As they will continue to be.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis t-shirt makes that distinction clearly. Yes, something hurts. It usually does. That's entirely separate from the matter of who was right about the bypass being a terrible idea in 1987, and frankly the two things shouldn't even be in the same conversation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton — soft, breathable, and feels broken-in from the first wear. Because a man with a bad back deserves at least one thing that doesn't give him grief.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor the man who:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Has never once been wrong, technically\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Considers \"I told you so\" a complete sentence\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Would stand up to make his point if standing wasn't currently an issue\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSide seams, ribbed collar, shoulder tape, and tear-away label. Built to last. Unlike the back.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe perfect birthday, Father's Day, or retirement gift. Or just a Tuesday.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":44798453514309,"sku":"18493804416698829695","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":44798453547077,"sku":"33504992985452295370","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Maroon","offer_id":44798453579845,"sku":"10853446191625710984","price":28.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":44798453612613,"sku":"15388863116102823374","price":28.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Red","offer_id":44798453645381,"sku":"37466362764083155722","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":44798453678149,"sku":"27914755986519658705","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Maroon","offer_id":44798453710917,"sku":"21168837803473536932","price":30.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":44798453743685,"sku":"19282277865580179665","price":28.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Red","offer_id":44798453776453,"sku":"19450971969059522727","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":44798453809221,"sku":"29646741204519140705","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Maroon","offer_id":44798453841989,"sku":"17078176429106055631","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":44798453874757,"sku":"16816883163351302896","price":28.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Red","offer_id":44798453907525,"sku":"25962669138945195073","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Mustard","offer_id":44798453940293,"sku":"17087954254539777719","price":28.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":44798453973061,"sku":"61856998018265526531","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Maroon","offer_id":44798454005829,"sku":"19755585007224564978","price":30.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":44798454038597,"sku":"28037845072286006566","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Red","offer_id":44798454071365,"sku":"19800217050006441013","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Mustard","offer_id":44798454104133,"sku":"31128340454802626963","price":28.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":44798454136901,"sku":"23988251117099271457","price":30.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Maroon","offer_id":44798454169669,"sku":"29863025634993784608","price":31.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":44798454202437,"sku":"13155737067459506742","price":30.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Red","offer_id":44798454235205,"sku":"15517880733525114359","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":44798454267973,"sku":"19268495040733275937","price":31.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":44798454300741,"sku":"22103832204008905700","price":31.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/oldmansnark-funny-graphic-tee-a1b2c3d4_743ab3ac-ea2b-4764-b9e6-0d0d9485220a.jpg?v=1777895982"},{"product_id":"coffee-first-talk-never-funny-coffee-t-shirt","title":"\"Coffee First. 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Visible enough to communicate the message clearly to anyone considering an early morning chat. Consider it a public service.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from soft, breathable cotton because the day is difficult enough without an uncomfortable t-shirt adding to proceedings.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRecommended for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e People whose morning routine does not include small talk\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Anyone who has ever pointed silently at their coffee cup instead of answering a question\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Every office, every household, every commute\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe ideal gift for the coffee drinker in your life who has never once described themselves as \"a morning person\" and has no intention of starting.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eAvailable in sizes S–3XL. Wash cold. Tumble dry low. 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Whether he's genuinely listening or simply doing an excellent impression of it is, frankly, between him and his conscience.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor the man who has:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Perfected the slow, considered nod\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Learned that \"mmm\" is a complete sentence\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Been asked \"are you even listening?\" enough times to have a convincing answer ready\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton — soft, breathable, and feels like it's been yours for years. Much like the marriage, it improves with wear and holds its shape under pressure.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSide seams, ribbed collar, shoulder tape, and tear-away label. Built properly. Because some things still are.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAvailable in off-white, navy, and black.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e All equally suitable for nodding in.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe perfect anniversary gift. Or apology. 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You're not older. You're \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003erarer\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. More characterful. The kind of thing people would pay considerably more for at auction if they had any sense.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis t-shirt makes that argument for you — quietly, confidently, and without requiring you to explain yourself to anyone under forty.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from soft, breathable cotton, because vintage doesn't mean uncomfortable. Classic black, because you've been wearing it since before it was fashionable and you'll be wearing it long after everyone else moves on.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIdeal for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Men who remember when things were made to last\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Anyone who considers their opinions \"well-aged\" rather than \"outdated\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e People whose best years, frankly, are a matter of some debate\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe perfect gift for a significant birthday, Father's Day, or for the man in your life who winces every time someone calls him \"young man\" in that particular tone.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNot old. Vintage. There's a difference. And it's an important one.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eAvailable in sizes S–3XL. Wash cold. Tumble dry low. Improves with age.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":44817231085637,"sku":"16827099921857492536","price":22.58,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":44817231118405,"sku":"23919073244413663341","price":22.58,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":44817231151173,"sku":"30804432531104616887","price":22.58,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":44817231183941,"sku":"11727555007119611862","price":22.58,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":44817231216709,"sku":"31237850981745731196","price":22.58,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":44817231249477,"sku":"16052810507479812174","price":22.58,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":44817231282245,"sku":"23271202636471650832","price":22.58,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":44817231315013,"sku":"24354123537132420214","price":22.58,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":44817231347781,"sku":"27178640938947665435","price":22.58,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":44817231380549,"sku":"32172119656963446308","price":27.64,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":44817231413317,"sku":"23265302224544853345","price":27.64,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":44817231446085,"sku":"30596567530842077242","price":32.24,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":44817231478853,"sku":"18273093845051705373","price":37.26,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/oldmansnark-vintage-graphic-tee-a1b2c3.jpg?v=1777893980"},{"product_id":"t-shirt-some-things-are-better-off-left-alone-me-for-example-vintage-humor-tee","title":"\"Some Things Are Better Off Left Alone\" Introvert T-Shirt | Funny Slogan Tee | Gift for Grumpy Men | British Humour","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e# \"Some Things Are Better Off Left Alone\" T-Shirt\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLook, some wisdom takes years to acquire. 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Classic black, because you've got better things to think about than coordinating outfits.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWear it to:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Signal your availability (spoiler: unavailable)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Answer questions before they're asked\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Justify your lifestyle choices with minimal effort\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAn excellent gift for the man in your life who considers a cancelled plan a personal victory, or anyone who's ever described their ideal evening as \"quiet.\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNo explanation required. 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Not My Problem.\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e# \"Sorry. Not My Problem.\" T-Shirt — Old Man Snark\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThere comes a moment — and most people will recognise it — when something shifts. A problem presents itself. It is assessed. It is considered carefully. And the conclusion, reached with complete clarity and zero guilt, is that this particular problem belongs to someone else entirely.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNot indifference. Not cruelty. Just an honest and overdue acknowledgement that you have a finite amount of energy and this specific situation isn't entitled to any of it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBold retro lettering across the chest. Gold and orange tones on classic black. Vintage feel, modern conviction. 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