{"product_id":"retired-still-not-available-framed-print","title":"Retired. Still Not Available. — Framed Print","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePRODUCT DESCRIPTION:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause a man who's spent decades being useful deserves something on his wall that says he isn't anymore.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis isn't a poster. It's a statement. Framed, hung, and entirely unapologetic.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe details, since someone will ask:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Premium wooden frame in natural oak, black, or white — each with its own wood grain, because nothing worth having is identical\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 200gsm matte paper. Substantial. No glare. No nonsense\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Shatterproof plexiglass — because retirement shouldn't involve broken glass\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Ready to hang straight out of the box. No assembly required. He's done enough of that\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e FSC-certified sustainable materials — responsibly sourced, since the planet has opinions too\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e›\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Available in 15 sizes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMakes an excellent gift for:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe newly retired. The long-retired. The man who was mentally retired for the last decade before it became official.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003ePrinted on demand. No minimum orders.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Old Man Snark","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45462148218949,"sku":"3c83c788-ce24-4439-b5ba-a71dade37a6b","price":34.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0650\/7796\/8965\/files\/0d8d41ef-ac2a-41e5-93c8-83c162a402ce.webp?v=1785697922","url":"https:\/\/oldmansnark.com\/products\/retired-still-not-available-framed-print","provider":"Old Man Snark","version":"1.0","type":"link"}