Look, some wisdom takes years to acquire. This particular wisdom took about forty-five minutes in a busy supermarket on a Saturday afternoon, but here we are.

This t-shirt says what most of us have been thinking since approximately 1987. Whether it's unsolicited opinions, group chats, or people who want to "just have a quick chat" — some things are, indeed, better off left alone. You included, frankly.

Made from soft, breathable cotton because life is uncomfortable enough without your clothing joining in. Classic black, because you've got better things to think about than coordinating outfits.

Wear it to:
› Signal your availability (spoiler: unavailable)
› Answer questions before they're asked
› Justify your lifestyle choices with minimal effort

An excellent gift for the man in your life who considers a cancelled plan a personal victory, or anyone who's ever described their ideal evening as "quiet."

No explanation required. That's rather the point.

Available in sizes S–3XL. Wash cold. Tumble dry low. Do not disturb.